pacifierboy's Blog

Being a diaper lover has many things that are both comforting and downright weird to me but it's just how I ended up in life. I in no way knew this was going to end up being how I am. It started really early in life and I just never realized it. When i was really little and my parents would take me to the store i would always want to go down the diaper isle just to look at the diapers. I was in a way tricked into being potty trained when I was little but I suppose it was for the best at the time because growing up in diapers is not a very pleasant experience, or so I am told. but as a child I always had an attachment to diapers. I recently recalled an incident from childhood; I was about 4 at the time and I was a very skinny child even though I ate my weight in food. I went to a friends house and while i was there I stole one of his little brothers diapers. I went to put it on in the bathroom and his mom went to go to the bathroom and forgot to knock and walked in on me pulling up my pants over the diaper. She told me off and told me not to do it again and she wouldn't tell my mom. I did not do it again. After that was when we moved into our new house and i was as far as I can remember diaper incedent free until 4th grade. There was a day at school when i was with my friend patrick and we were on the brand new computers in the computer lab and, being the deviant he was he looked up 'boobies' and well my first encounter with internet porn. I went home and got on our dial-up and just started browsing the web my mom was none the wiser because I was a computer kid so I was always on programming. That is what she assumed I was doing. I for reasons i can not to this day comprehend typed in diaper girls and what popped up but adults in diapers. Instantly every feeling that I ever had about diapers seemed instantly justified. I then found out that i wasn't the only person on earth that had this love or obsession. Being ten years old I was very relieved not to be a total one of a kind freak. that's where things began to get a little more serious. My parents are partiers and rockers and so am i and when they would go to concerts i would cut up old sweaters and make diapers out of them using saftey pins and paper towel. At first just the feeling of the large bulk between my legs was enough. Then as a few times went by it just wasn't enough so, I started wetting them at first it was very difficult to go without being over a toilet. I slowly trained myself it so I could empty my bladder on command. I have complete bladder control now because of this to the point where i could right my 9 letter name in the snow in printed letter and not miss a drop.  Then as things progressed i wanted to finalize my acts and i finally waited like 3 days to poop and then for the first time ever I pooped a diaper since child hood. At first it was a little gross and I thought I didn't like it. I went to sit down and instantly I felt it squish on my bottom and it was just a magical feeling. I tried crawling and jumping up and down. now seeing as how these were just old cut up sweaters it was not the smartest idea. It had squelched out the sides onto the inside of my pants. it was that day that I first hosed off the pants (after changing and showering.) That as soon as I could I opened up my piggy bank and rode my bike down to the store. I was about 11 at the time so it was about a year after the first diapers I made. I made the decision then that if I am going to do this I am going to break all of the boundaries in one shot. I went to the adult incontinence isle and I got a bag of depends for $14.00 and i got some baby wipes and powder. I walked to the line with (who i swear to this day was sent by god) A beautiful teller. I did this for two reasons. I was making sure that every trip after that would be easier becausee I got the fear of being seen out of the way in the most powerful way possible a beautiful woman seeing me. And the other is because if I could do it with this bombshell of a woman watching me count out money then I knew I could do it any where any time if I wanted. I paid for it a rode my bike home and hid the stuff in my closet. Every  once in a while when my parents went out I would wear them. Now it was about age 12 and a half that I got my first new pacifier it was a basic pacifier not the kind i am partial to now. it made my teeth hurt so i didn't use it a lot. now this was how it was until i was about 14 and a half the i got a baby bottle and other stuff and no one knew any better. but one day my mom came into my room and found the diapers and she asked and I said "yeah i have some because i have been wetting the bed, probably because of increased you know  down there" and she said "ok" and she said that's fine. She was none the wiser.But after that i got even better hiding stuff i got a lock box for $200 at best buy and used it for my diapers and other valuables and that has worked until i moved out and now I am free and clear to do as I please